Self harm in boys is increasing.

Over the last few years the relatively new phenomena has emerged that of self harming by adolescent boys aged between 10 to 14. The statistics are sobering between 09/10 they jumped from 454 to 659 in 13/14 an increase of some 30%. For girls the number are much higher. The most cited cause of these self harm attacks is to do with family breakdown. For boys the cardinal relationship in their emotionally and psychological development is the bond that is between father and son. Regrettably too often this is the weak link in the chain. Today after after a family breaks up the father generally speaking goes off and many times starts a new family the 'old family' is discarded and the boys are the biggest sufferers. You can divorce you wife, but you can never divorce you kids.
When I worked as a family and couple therapist both in the NHS and in private practice this was where the leverage and fulcrum for change occurred. This was the pressure point where the maximum pressure had to be placed. Of course this was where the father felt guilt and the greatest resistance to change. For two main reasons - one being his new family will probably resent him, and secondly his original family and especially his son will be very angry for all the previous neglect. This placed the father in the firing line, and like most cowards they didn't like the heat. The temptation was to go soft on him, but you had to resist this otherwise nothing would ever change.