Are we sleep walking towards divorce?

Its not long to go in order to save the marriage. We have been together 'off and on' for over three hundred years give or take, but in just over a week from now on the 18 September we will be in the divorce court in Edinburgh.What will the judgement be? I fear that due to a lack of passion on our part we have not wooed the bride/wife of Scotland enough. Fraser Nelson said as much in The Daily Telegraph the other day. In similar circumstances a few years ago in Canada it looked as if the people of Quebec would go it alone, but a last minute burst of passion by the rest of Canada brought them back into the fold. We don't have good shepherd here in the Better Together campaign. Gordon Brown is about to get down on his knees, but that isn't a very romantic prospect for a beautiful passionate Scotland. What is to be done? They have used brick bats, threats, blackmail but nothing has worked, she appears to be off for good this time, wanting more freedom to live her own life as she feels fit. We will never get back together again, no matter how terrible the divorce settlement is. To unscramble these eggs is going to be a bloody mess for us all. The heat in the marital kitchen is definitely hotting up as each day passes. I can hear them shouting at each other from here in Kent. There is a lot a stake after being together for such a long time - who will get the fine piece of Chippendale furniture and all those Rubes pictures and the clock? Its not easy for all those kids from a mixed marriage. They are not happy at the prospect of having a divorce, but there we are, we left it too late to make her feel special, but you never know, she may at the very last minute change her mind? Lets hope she does, but the latest opinion poll today in The Sunday Times suggests that she is off. They say that 51% are for independence and 49% against. Its all up for grabs now as the minutes tick away on the grandfather clock in the hallway.
According to reports the Queen is not amused that she may be the last monarch of the United Kingdom. She doesn't relish the idea that she 'drew up the draw bridge' on Scotland. Not a happy time if your royal. I fortunately don't have to worry about that.